Charles Barkley compared Draymond Green to ‘the least famous person in a boy band.’ Who would that make him in NSYNC?
Barkley was a guest on the Dan Patrick Show and took the opportunity to throw more shade Green’s way, saying, “He’s the least famous person in the boy band, and he thinks he’s a star. And he’s not. He’s lucky to be in the boy band. He thinks all the girls are screaming for him. No, they’re screaming for Justin Timberlake.”
There are a number of boy bands that could fit the analogy and which group is most similar to the dynastic Warriors is its own separate conversation. But since Barkley mentioned Justin Timberlake, we’ll use NSYNC to unpack the comparison.
Barkley is right about one thing, Stephen Curry is clearly Justin Timberlake. He’s the member with the most individual talent and the cross-genre appeal He’s the babyface and the voice (shooter) who makes the whole thing work. Fleshing out the analogy from here takes some imagination.
Klay Thompson is Lance Bass. When you look at the group holistically, he checks a lot of boxes on the same template as Curry/Timberlake. He just doesn’t have quite enough oomph to make the whole thing work as a frontman. Also, you can totally imagine Thompson making a run at professional astronaut when his basketball career is over.
Andre Iguodala is JC Chasez. Not the star. Not the cute one. Tries to project a bad boy edge but everyone knows he’s a big ol’ softy underneath those mirrored aviators. Iguodala is like Chasez, ostensibly has the package to be the lead and kind of had a chance to try that out beforehand (Iggy with the Sixers, JC on The Mickey Mouse Club) but more comfortable as the glue keeping everyone together.
Harrison Barnes is Chris Kirkpatrick. You kind of forget he was there when they were big. Also, Bogut would look awesome with some bleached dreadlocks.
Kevin Durant is Nick Carter. Imagine a world where NSYNC had so thoroughly dominated The Backstreet Boys on the Billboard Charts that Nick Carter decided to leave and NSYNC was able to swap him in for Kirkpatrick. That’s what it was like when Durant went to the Warriors. Sure, NSYNC would have had to adapt to accommodate Carter’s style but they could have mostly mailed it in for at least two years and still swept the Grammys.
Bob Myers is Lou Pearlman. But without the history of sexual molestation and massive financial fraud. Just tremendous vision, imagination and an eye for talent.
A few other assorted characters: LeBron James is Brittney Spears but if she had never struggled with mental health and had kept making chart-smashing music into her late 30s. Russell Westbrook is Nick Lachey. The Seven Seconds or Less Suns are New Kids on the Block. The Plumlee brothers are Hanson. Festus Ezeli is Lou Bega.
So, I guess that leaves us with…
Draymond Green is Joey Fatone. To be clear, this is a refutation of Barkley because Fatone is definitely not the least famous person in NSYNC. That would be the dreadlock guy whose name I had to look up. Fatone is an incredibly talented singer and dancer who was also a bit of a chonk in his heyday. Green is an incredibly talented defender and facilitator who was just chonky enough to unlock vaunted Death Lineup. Fatone has had a successful post-boy-band career, acting in movies and on television and starring on Broadway. If he is so inclined, Green could certainly win several MVP Awards in the NBL or Chinese Basketball Association in his 40s.
No one was buying Joey Fatone solo albums and the Draymond-led Warriors have been a lottery team this year. But there are certainly worse fates than being the third- or fourth-most impressive guy in the five-man boy band.